The Baudelaires end up on a submarine with Captain Widdershins and his stepdaughter, Fiona. They are searching for the sugar bowl that was thrown out the window of the VFD headquarters on the mountain. Fiona tells the orphans about her missing brother, Fernald. She also tells them about a very poisonous mushroom that grows in the underwater cave they are about to search for the sugar bowl. The three Baudelaires and Fiona don diving gear and enter the cave. They find a lot of stuff, but no sugar bowl and poor Sunny's helmet gets infected with the poisonous mushrooms. When they reach the submarine they discover Captain Widdershins is gone and Count Olaf has captured them. Violet and Klaus manage to save Sunny, but Fiona betrays them when she learns the hook handed man who's always with Olaf is her long lost brother Fernald. The kids end up escaping Olaf and end up back on Briny Beach, where all their troubles began. A mysterious woman is waiting in a taxi, and the Baudelaires get in.
The woman in the taxi is none other than Kit Snicket, Jacques's (and Lemony's, although he's never mentioned by name) sister. She is able to answer some of the Baudelaires questions regarding the VFD and takes them to the Hotel Denouement, the LAST SAFE PLACE. Kit tasks the Baudelaires with disguising themselves as concierges, and keeping an eye on the two managers, Frank and Ernest. Frank is on their side, Ernest is not. Since they are identical, it's a challenging task indeed. Everyone from the earlier books shows up: Justice Strauss, Jerome Squalor, Sir from the lumber mill. Justice Strauss tells the Baudelaires that there's going to be a trial, and they will have to testify against Count Olaf so he can be punished for his wicked deeds. She has a big book Jerome has compiled, detailing Olaf's mischief. Of course the trial is a farce when the orphans discover that Justice Strauss's other two judges are both in Olaf's employ. The Baudelaires have to do some things they aren't proud of, like burn the hotel down, and help Olaf escape.
Sookie's going to the big vampire summit where Queen Sophie-Anne will be tried for killing her husband, the King of Arkansas. Sookie is the only witness, and the queen wants her to read any humans minds to determine who is trying to double-cross her. Right off the bat, things hit a snag when the King of Arkansas's second in command is murdered. Sookie meets up with Barry, the bellboy from Texas who is also a telepath, and they work on their unique skill together. Quinn is there, but he and Sookie barely see each other, because he's so busy plus he's mad she took Eric's blood again, bonding them even closer together than before (she was forced. Or so she claimed. Um hmm). Sookie then discovers the Fellowship of the Sun is planning on blowing up the hotel during the day when the vampires are all dead to the world, and she has to get as many out as she can. Like a smart girl, she gets Eric out first. Sookie somehow manages to make it back home and swears off vampires forever. Good luck, girl.
Something new! I know, I was shocked, too. And sadly, it just wasn't very good. I don't know why I keep reading her Aurora books. I liked one or two of them, but the rest have been pretty bad, and this one was just middling. Aurora is mother to a new baby, Sophie. Robin has to go out of town for a few days to get an award for his book, and as he's getting ready to leave Aurora feels like she's getting sick. Robin doesn't want to go, but she insists, and hires Virginia to come and help her out. Virginia was a home helper that came when Sophie was first born. Robin leaves, Virginia shows up, and Aurora (who for some unfathomable reason is called Roe, but I refuse) goes down for the count with the flu. When she finally emerges from her room one night, there's a dead body in the backyard and Virginia is missing. It takes a whole lot to get it figured out, and literally every second paragraph is about Aurora having to nurse the baby. Like, literally. I'm sure new moms who nurse are super exhausted and feel like they spend all their time feeding the baby, but it makes for very tedious reading.
As I read this one, I couldn't get the Doors' "The End" out of my head (in fact, I'm singing it now). At any rate: the Baudelaires and Count Olaf are lost at sea when they end up shipwrecked on a coastal shelf near an island. A girl name Friday takes the orphans back to the island, but leaves Count Olaf because he was rude to her. Hey, great! They're finally safe from Olaf (at least for a little bit). The island has a facilitator named Ishmael, who has some pretty strange rules and customs. He doesn't expressly forbid things, but everyone ends up bowing to peer pressure, and as a result, the island is a very boring place with no books, no mechanical equipment, and the same boring food every day. After another storm the orphans go back to the coastal shelf to help gather debris to see if there's anything useful, and they come across a very pregnant Kit Snicket. Olaf is also pretending to be pregnant, but Ishmael sees through his disguise and locks him in a cage. The islanders fight about letting Kit and the Baudelaires come back to the island, since all they seem to do is cause trouble, and they finally leave them on the shelf. A couple of the islanders come to the kids in the night to tell them they are going to mutiny in the morning and ask them for their help. Kit begs them not to, but the Baudelaires are unsure what to do. They go to the arboretum on the other side of the island where all the stuff that Ishmael has declared useless has been taken to look for weapons, but Ishmael discovers them and takes them back to the main gathering spot. Olaf tries to invade once again and Ishmael shoots him, releasing the deadly poison Olaf had been hiding. The kids find an antidote, but the islanders don't trust them and end up sailing off. They help Kit deliver her baby, a girl they name after their mother, and Kit dies from the poison. In the end, we discover the Baudelaires' mother's name was Beatrice, the mysterious love of Lemony's life who died in a fire.
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