Christmas Caramel Murder

I'm almost caught up on the Hannah Swensen books now. This one starts off with Hannah telling Ross about a murder that took place the previous Christmas. Lisa is upset when floozy Phyllis is asked to play Mrs. Claus in the Christmas play: since her husband, Herb, is playing Santa, Lisa assumed she'd be asked to play Mrs. Claus. Her blood really boils when Phyllis kisses Herb passionately onstage for everyone to see. So when Phyllis turns up dead later that evening, Lisa is a logical suspect. Hannah goes to work finding out who the real killer is so she can clear her partner's name.

The Butchering Art

Doctoring and surgery in Victorian times was almost medieval. It seems unfathomable to us now, but back then doctors didn't know about germs and that infections were caused by bacteria. They didn't wash their instruments between patients, and hospitals were filthy, often crawling with maggots and mushrooms growing on blood and pus soaked sheets. How *anyone* survived is a mystery to me. Joseph Lister grew up knowing he wanted to be a surgeon, but he was also fascinated with the microscopes his father used to build. He was a good artist and would draw the amazing things he saw under the lens. Dr. Lister was dismayed by how many patients he was losing to post-op infections, so when he heard of a theory by a scientist named Louis Pasteur, he was intrigued. Pasteur, of course, was the first one to discover that germs didn't just materialize out of thin air, they had to be born. Building on Pasteur's work, Lister started using antiseptic during and after his operations, and lo and behold, his patients started surviving without developing the nasty infections that were so common. Of course his work was criticized at first (no doctor wanted to believe *they* were the ones who were causing their patients to die, after all, they were good men who truly wanted to heal the sick) but eventually people started coming around after seeing Lister's practices put into use. It was really quite fascinating to read, and pretty good for a layman like myself (she did get a little technical a few times, and my eyes glazed over, but not too much).

Master and Margarita

I can't tell you where I first heard about Mikhail Bulgakov's book, "The Master and Margarita", but it's been years, and I wanted to read it. My library didn't own it, so I asked a friend to get it for me from his library, and he did--in the original Russian. Which didn't help, as I don't speak/read Russian :) I finally got an English version and read it and...yeah, I might have been better off in Russian, at least then I would have an excuse for not understanding it! It was good, don't get me wrong, it was pretty darkly humorous, but I'm still not quite sure what it was about, even after reading a lengthy synopsis online. I think it's one of those books I'd have to read more than once to really get. The Master is an author of a novel about Pontius Pilate who is locked up in an asylum after turning his back on the world when his novel failed. Margarita is his loyal lover, unhappily married to another man. The devil makes an appearance in disguise, there's some funny bits about a cat that can walk upright and talk. Maybe someday when I have more time I'll try it again and see if I get more out of it.

Wedding Cake Murder

Back to back weddings! Now it's Hannah and Ross's turn, but before they can exchange their vows, Hannah is competing on the Food Network's Dessert Challenge. She wins the hometown advantage, and the whole contest moves to Lake Eden. She and Michelle go to the restaurant where the stations are set up during their practice time and find one of the judges, a particularly nasty chef, dead. Of course Hannah feels duty bound to solve his murder, and almost dies in the process.

Double Fudge Brownie Murder

Hannah and her sisters fly out to Las Vegas with their mother and Doc Knight so they can elope. Doc is sick of Delores changing her mind over and over again about their wedding and just wants it done. Guess who Doc's best man is? Ross Barton, Hannah's college crush. The sparks fly hot and heavy, and before she goes back home Ross tells her he's interviewing for a job in Lake Eden that he hopes he gets so he can move there and be close to her.
AWWWW (it really was very sweet).
Hannah goes back home for the start of her vehicular manslaughter trial. Before it can get going, though, the judge is murdered. Hannah is of course a suspect, since she found the body (again, poor thing). She goes to work trying to figure out who would kill the old judge while looking forward to Ross's visit to Lake Eden.
Ross does get the job, and proposes at the airport as he's leaving town to go pack up his things in California so he can move. Geez, Ross, could you have picked a less romantic spot for a proposal?
So, Hannah is finally getting married, and it's not Norman. (Reluctantly lowers Team Norman flag). But at least it's not Mike.

Two Bear Mambo; You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone

Rolling right along with Hap and Leonard. "Two Bear Mambo" was a tough read, it was really dark and gritty. Leonard burns down the crack house next door for the third time, and he and Hap get hauled in to jail, even though Hap was an innocent bystander. Detective Hansen offers Hap a deal: he'll let Leonard go, if Hap will travel to Grovetown to see if he can find Florida, Hap's ex-girlfriend and Hansen's ex-fiance. They had a falling out and Florida went to Grovetown to investigate the hanging death of a young man in police custody. Grovetown is known for being particularly racist, the Klan is active, and black people are not welcome, so Hansen is worried, since he hasn't heard from Florida in awhile. Hap agrees to go and takes Leonard with him, which was probably not the brightest move. They get to Grovetown and discover it's even worse than Hansen and Charlie warned them. They find a pretty cold trail as to Florida's whereabouts, and end up getting beat within an inch of their lives when they have the audacity to show up in a cafe together in town. Yikes, this place sounds horrible. They manage to make it home, only to decide to come back when Hap finally figures out what happened to Florida, and they almost end up dying again in a huge flood. Guys. Stop pressing your luck, you aren't cats.

I checked this book out ages ago, and kept renewing it, and I finally decided to just read it. Right away I could tell I wouldn't like it, but I kept going, even though I should have just thrown in the towel. The premise sounded good: twins Adina and Tovah are each overachievers in their own way: Tovah is determined to get into Johns Hopkins and be a surgeon, Adina is a viola prodigy. Neither girl is very likable, honestly, they're both pretty obnoxious, even for teenagers. Their mother was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease four years earlier, and now that the girls are 18 they are getting tested to see if they're at risk for developing it, too. One of the girls is positive and one is negative. The positive one feels cheated and is on a path of self-destruction while the negative twin feels guilty. Even so, I found it hard to muster up any sympathy for these two brats, I honestly felt the worst for their dad.

Blackberry Pie Murder

While Hannah is picking up Lisa at the car repair shop, a violent summer storm starts. Unable to see well in the rain and lightning, she hits a tree branch, but when she and Lisa get out to investigate, they find a man, dead. Doc Knight confirms that Hannah's truck caused the deadly injuries, so even though it was an accident, Hannah is arrested and thrown in jail. Bill gave the order, so Andrea is no longer speaking to him, and Mike is suspended because he refused to do it. Howie, Hannah's lawyer, gets her out on bail and Hannah and friends go to work trying to identify the man, who is a stranger to Lake Eden residents, young and old alike. He had a distinctive diamond in one tooth, which leads Grandma Knudson to hypothesize he was a pimp. Turns out Grandma was right! Meanwhile, Delores is no closer to making any final decisions on her upcoming wedding to Doc Knight, changing her mind every other day about everything, leaving her daughters completely exasperated. And Michelle's friend Carly is worried about her long lost sister, Jennifer. She doesn't think Jennifer is really Jennifer, and asks Hannah to investigate. Girl, Hannah is out on bail and awaiting trial for vehicular manslaughter. You think she has time to investigate your issue? Well, unless the impostor is somehow related to the dead pimp...

Red Velvet Cupcake Murder

Doctor Beverly is back in town, engaged to wealthy Roger Dalworth and flaunting herself around town. Hannah doesn't really care, so long as she doesn't try to get her dirty hooks into Norman again. Barbara Donnelly falls off the roof of the fancy new penthouse apartment Roger bought for Beverly, and while she isn't killed, she does seem to have some brain injuries that are keeping her from remembering exactly what happened on the roof. Hannah is trying to find out if she was pushed, fell, or jumped when she finds Doc Bev's dead body in the lake. It was okay. I'm glad Hannah slapped Mike towards the end, he deserved it.
TEAM NORMAN!!

Savage Season

I had to buy the first Hap and Leonard book, but that's okay, it was pretty good. Hap's ex-wife, Trudy, shows up and has a too good to be true proposition for Hap. Her current boyfriend, Howard, knows where there's a sunken boat with a million dollars hidden on it, from a bank robbery. He bunked with a guy in prison who was part of the team of robbers, and their getaway boat sank. Trudy and Howard have been trying to find the boat, but haven't had any luck. Trudy thinks Hap can help, since the boat went down in an area Hap knows pretty well from having grown up there. Hap agrees to help out for a cut of the money, but only if he can bring Leonard along, and Trudy reluctantly agrees (there is no love lost between Leonard and Trudy). There was a lot of double-crossing involved, and an epic fight at the end that left Trudy dead (which I knew from reading "Mucho Mojo", but still) and Leonard permanently disabled.

Bloody Spur; Astrid Lindgren: the Woman Behind Pippi Longstocking

Third in the Caleb York series, the wonderful Western collaboration between the late, great Mickey Spillane and the keeper of his flame, Max Allan Collins (side note: happy 100th anniversary of Mickey Spillane's birthday the other day!). The railroad wants to build a spur of the line between Trinidad and Las Vegas (New Mexico, not Nevada) and most of the townspeople are thrilled at the idea of the railroad coming through their town, bringing new business and prosperity. Founder of the Bar-O ranch, blind George Cullen, is against the spur, since he thinks it will bring more crime and trouble and competition. His daughter, Willa, is all for it but doesn't know how to convince her father to change his mind. York is for it, but he's got more important things on his mind: a bad hombre named Preacherman is in town to compete in the poker tournament at the Victory, and York has a feeling he's been hired to kill someone. It was good and lots of fun, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I've never actually read any of Astrid Lindgren's books. My sister and I used to love watching the old Pippi Longstocking movies on TV when we were kids. I saw this new biography about Lindgren, and checked it out. It wasn't bad. It's funny to think she only wrote three Pippi Longstocking books, she wrote so many others, and yet Pippi is what she is known for. She lived a pretty unconventional life: she got pregnant at 18 by her much older, married boss and traveled to Denmark to give birth in secret, since Swedish hospitals required both parents' names on the birth certificate. She left their son, Lars, with a foster mother for a few years until she was able to go back and get him and bring him home with her. She married her next boss, who was a bit older, and had a daughter, Karin, with him. It wasn't a marriage for love but for mutual benefit: as a single mother she needed to be able to give her son a stable home, and she and her husband got along well. When he died, quite young, actually, she never considered remarrying, instead enjoying living on her own, surrounded by children and grandchildren. She passionately loved children, and had some rather radical notions about how to raise them.

Cinnamon Roll Murder

Hannah and Michelle witness a multi-car pileup on the highway and stop to help. The tour bus for a jazz band that's playing at the Lake Eden Inn is overturned, and the driver is dead. They help transport the rest of the band (called "The Cinnamon Roll Six". Really? That's the best name you could come up with for a jazz band? Okay...) to the hospital. While at the hospital, one of the band members, Buddy, is stabbed in the heart and dies.
Of course Hannah is going to investigate, she has a lot of free time on her hands now that Norman is marrying Bev (she blackmailed him into it, saying she wouldn't let him see their daughter, Diana, unless he did. Poor Norman is miserable about it but doesn't know what else to do). Turns out Buddy wasn't his real name, and Doctor Bev looks like a good suspect for murdering him!
While it wasn't bad, I'm starting to get a little tired of some of the aspects of these books. Like the never ending eating. There was one point where Hannah and Andrea went to a bar, had drinks (nonalcoholic, but still) and appetizers, then stopped on the way home for ice cream sundaes and hot chocolate, and took more hot chocolate on the road, then had dinner. Andrea must have the metabolism of a hummingbird if she can eat like that and still be thin, I mean, my God. Who even eats like that?

Candy Cane Murder

So, again, I didn't read this whole book, just the Hannah Swensen novella. It was actually in between "Carrot Cake Murder" and "Creme Puff Murder", but I skipped it because I didn't think it would make a difference. Then Fluke referenced it in one of the more recent ones and confused me, so I figured I'd better go back and read it. It was pretty good: Bergstrom department store owner Wayne is found (by Hannah, of course) dead after playing Santa for a bunch of kids. His wife, Melanie, seems less than sad about it, leading everyone (and by everyone I mean Hannah and Norman) to think she killed Wayne.

Mucho Mojo

I've been wanting to read Joe R. Landsdale's Hap and Leonard series for awhile now, but I said to myself: "Do you really think you need to start a new series right now? You haven't finished the Hannah Swensen books yet, not to mention all the other books you have on hold. And don't even get me started on all the books you've bought and never touched!". Yeah, yeah, I know. All very logical arguments against starting a new series.
So, naturally, I started a new series.
We didn't have the first one at my library, and the next closest library I use didn't own it, either, so I started with "Mucho Mojo". I don't think I missed too much, not reading the first one: Landsdale sort of recapped it, hit the high points. Leonard's uncle Chester passes away, leaving him his house and a bunch of odd things: jars of coupons, a copy of "Dracula", a painting Leonard did as a child. Leonard asks his friend Hap to help him fix up uncle Chester's house, and Hap agrees. While they're working on the flooring, they discover a locked trunk with the skeletal remains of a child in there, along with some disturbing kiddie porn. Leonard knows his uncle wasn't a saint, but he also knows he wasn't a pedophile and killer, so he and Hap start trying to figure out what could have happened. It was really good, I enjoyed it, and it was gritty and dark, which I needed after all the sweet fluff of Joanne Fluke.

Devil's Food Cake Murder

Reverend Bob Knudson and his new wife, Claire, leave for their honeymoon in Hawaii, knowing the parsonage is in good hands with Reverend Matthew. He stayed with Grandma Knudson back when he was a kid, and she adored him and is glad to get to know him as an adult. All seems to be going well, until Hannah finds Matthew dead. At first the clues seem to point to his cousin, Paul, but then a man shows up in town claiming to be the REAL Matthew, saying Paul was impersonating him. Apparently the cousins looked enough alike to do this. No one in town is quite sure what to think: Grandma Knudson didn't think Matthew was acting like the boy she'd known so many years before, so maybe it really was Paul pretending to be him. It got pretty twisted up, and there was a Myna bird and yeah...all kinds of stuff.
Of course the worst of it was at the end, when Norman finally tells Hannah why he's been acting so weird and distracted lately. So much for being Team Norman.